I like weekends.

Sir had to go to work this morning for a few hours, leaving instructions as to what I am to accomplish while he is gone. So far, I have gone grocery shopping, cleaned the toilets, vacuumed, hung up our shirts, and put away the clean dishes. Its been a productive Saturday so far...

When Sir arrives home, I am to be wearing matching underclothes and nothing else. He hinted that if I got all of my chores done, I would be rewarded with my new butt plug and probably my nipple clamp collar. Whoohoo!

I love being able to spend my weekends with Sir. Before, when we were both at our respective Helljobs, one or both of us would be working all week and then probably on Saturday or Sunday as well. Now, Sir only has to go in on Saturdays one or two times a month, and I have to go in on Saturdays three or four times a year. Its nice to snuggle, sleep in, wake up and then just lay next to each other for an hour or two.

I like weekends.

Always His,

His Lady Aurora

Gifts

My gifts from Sir arrived in the mail the other day. One pink butt plug and one ben wa ball. The butt plug is VERY nice--It is a Doc Johnson one with a sort of handle and narrowed end that leads to the handle...so it will stay in. Which it does. Sir told me I could try one of them out last night, but only one. I chose the butt plug. I put it in and walked around, shocked that it actually stayed in. He made me go downstairs and then come back upstairs to see if it would stay, and it did. I'm so excited. I think he will make me wear it this weekend when we go shopping.

Tomorrow is skirt day...I am supposed to wear a skirt at least once a week to work and I have been slacking.

Since I seem to need more time to wake up in the morning, I am going to get up half an hour earlier tomorrow morning in the hopes of being awake enough to walk on the treadmill. I will also be bringing my ipod to work so that I can listen to music on my breaks and walk around outside, if it is nice. If not, I can walk around the corridors of the office. My lower back has been noticeably tighter and feels almost bruised--and I don't think that Sir is to blame. I sit at a desk almost all day, and I think maybe my ass muscles are atrophying or something. I'm going to look up a very SIMPLE (or I won't do it) yoga/stretch sequence for the mornings in the hopes of knocking the back pain out.

Apart from my complete and utter failure to do my damn workouts, I think that things are improving in terms of my submission. I really need to work out on Friday, if all else fails, because otherwise he won't let me wear my ben wa ball to work. Maybe he will join them together and let me wear both of them. That would make for an interesting day.

Gotta get some sleep if I plan on waking up early to get some treadmill time in tomorrow. Working on improving my bedtime ritual as well, and this shit takes time.

Always His,

His Lady Aurora

Weekend Rush

For the past few weekends, Sir and I have been going through the house, getting rid of things we don't use or want anymore, getting ready to donate old clothes, books, etc, and generally going through everything the house and deciding whether or not we really need to keep it. Every so often, we get the urge to deep clean things.

I think that we could get through the remaining rooms this weekend and just have to get around to dropping off the donation stuff. He made me a list of things he wants me to complete this weekend, including cleaning the bathrooms, going through my closet, and making cookies. We've already finished some other things on the list, like going for a long walk and going shopping. I was supposed to start walking on the treadmill yesterday before work, but when my alarm went off, I was so cozy and warm, snuggled up to Sir, that I didn't want to get up and walk. And then Sir got all handsy, and we ended up having some rather energetic sex instead. But since I didn't walk on the treadmill, like he told me to, I was not allowed to wear my ben wa ball to work.

I don't really think that this is fair, since he was the one who started the sexcapades, but I am trying to be a more obedient sub, so I took the punishment. I really wish that I had sprung for the faster shipping on my recent online purchases, because they would really have been welcomed this weekend.

This morning, Sir gave me a threesome with himself and a butt plug. It was very nice. He likes to fill all of me and tell me what a dirty slut I am for enjoying it. He likes it when I am a dirty slut. I like having the windows open while he makes me moan and squeal. I guess maybe I really AM a dirty slut after all.

Always His,

His Lady Aurora

Almost Friday...

It is almost Friday...and that means that tomorrow, I get to wear my weekend collar and my ben wa ball to work. Yay!

Sir and I went shopping yesterday in InternetLand. I am spoiled. We ordered a butt plug that is supposed to be wearable under clothes (because he wants me to wear it out in public sometime), and a new, heavier ben wa ball. This new one is heavier than my current one and also can link to the current one and you can wear two at once. I'm looking forward to next week. *insert evil grin*

Sir and I were shopping in a real store last week, and they had a bin of clearance junk. He picked up a tennis ball on a strap for the dog, and threw it into the cart. When we got home and were unloading all the stuff, he playfully smacked my ass with it. Unfortunately, the dog lost her toy because its a very good ass-smacker. She never really saw it though, so I don't think she missed it. :)

Sir has decreed that I will start walking on the treadmill for half an hour in the mornings. This is partially because I have been saying that I would do that for weeks, partially because I know that I need to start being healthier, and partially because I am off my birth control and we are both trying to start making healthier choices. We had a discussion the other day, because Sir thinks that he has been gaining weight since changing jobs and I really want to lose some weight too. According to my BMI, I should weight about 50 pounds less than what I do. I think (and Sir agrees with me) that if I really weighed my optimal BMI weight, I would be creepy, nasty thin. I am happy with having curves, I just want CURVES, not pudge. My personal goal is to get down to a comfortable size 12 and/or maintain my current size in the event that I become pregnant. My current size, for full disclosure, is a 16 or a tight 14. Most of my pants are 14s, but they are so well-worn that they fit on non-bloaty days.

I think that being off my birth control is doing excellent things to my libido and helping my motivation as well. I don't drag quite as much and I feel really excited about getting things done. Maybe my thyroid meds are finally working...or they were reacting with my birth control and not being absorbed as well as they should have been. I'm hypothyroid, in case you haven't read my blog from now to the beginning (lol).

Gotta head to bed if I'm going to be up running marathons in the morning. Wish me luck!

Always His,

His Lady Aurora

Going shopping...

As I was finishing up dinner this evening, Sir reminded me that we are going shopping tonight. I immediately freaked out, thinking that this was planned and I had forgotten to make the shopping list. Smirking, Sir replied that we would not be going to the grocery store--we will be going to Amazon. Sir is going to order me a new butt plug.

I'm kind of excited, but kind of nervous too. Sir really, really likes playing back there and enjoys making me wear my current butt plug...but the problem is that they are uncomfortable to wear for any amount of time. According to my contract, I am supposed to wear them for an hour on Saturdays and an hour on Sundays. I have been unable to make it past the fifteen minute mark for weeks, and then it just sort of slipped off our list. Along with most of the rest of the list...but things are back on track for now, and I am happy for that.

I'm very excited about Fridays. Fridays mean I get to wear my weekend collar (a different necklace from my usual one), my ben wa ball, and we can stay up late...doing...something....*wink*

Sir is back from his walk--time to go shopping!!

Always His,

His Lady Aurora

Late Night Tryst

So, Sunday is usually an early night at our house. We stay up later on Friday and Saturday since there is no work to run off to in the morning. Stay up later, get up later, and then Sunday rolls around like a brick wall. This Sunday was no different-dinner, watch a movie, get ready for bed, read for a while. Except for one thing. I had spent the evening on the computer, looking for some new blogs to read after updating my own for the first time in a few months, when I came across someone's blog entry about a threesome. So I read the first part. And the second. And then I was just super horny.

Sir was in the middle of his evening reading when I blurted out that I had read some really interesting stuff online about a threesome. So Sir gets out his tablet to find us some to watch together. After some searching, we ended up with a good one, except that it wasn't a threesome. It was two girls around my age laying in the sunlight on a bed, reading. Then one of the girls starting running her hand along the other one's back, and then they are making out and suddenly they are both topless. I was so turned on...my lady bits were actually THROBBING. They are both topless, kissing, rubbing each other's breasts, sucking, and then the pants come off and they are taking turns making each other orgasm through oral, fingers, and a very nice looking dildo. At this point, Sir is very happy with me because I am sucking him off as I watch, and he is fingering me at the same time. When the video ended, we both attacked each other and suddenly it was nearly midnight.

Needless to say, I apparently really enjoy lesbian porn. Anyone else?

Sir and I have had sex every single day since last Wednesday...and its been fantastic. The weather here has been nice and cool, a little rainy, but very autumnal, and think that has helped us to relax and enjoy each other. I love it.

Still working on the new title-nickname-thing for Sir. Waiting for the lightning to strike.

Always His,

His Lady Aurora

Gilding the Lily

I've always thought that phrase was interesting. At first glance, it means taking something perfect and beautiful and covering it with something even more precious and beautiful. When you think about it though, you are taking something delicate and vibrant and then slathering it with flaw-hiding metal. The lily underneath will inevitably waste away, leaving you with a hollow shell in the appearance of said lily.

Its been so long since I actively read any kind of blog, and longer since I updated. I considered just deleting this one and starting again, but that would just start the problem again. No one wants to discuss the sucky parts of their relationship, or the things that they fail at. I'll just be honest: Sir and I gradually stopped the D/s without really realizing it. His new job (thank God!!!) gives him much better hours, stable start-end work times, and a tenth of the amount of stress as his previous one. Combining that with the adjustments we were still working through with my new-ish (1 year!) job, and things just changed so much, so fast, that we were operating on fumes for months. Its very strange to suddenly have Sir home in the mornings with me, to be able to have breakfast together, to be able to stay out later, to get up later than 3am.

Looking back, I can see that my submission never really went away completely. I make breakfast and coffee each morning for the two of us. Sir would tell me to take X for lunch (leftovers, remind me to take a snack, etc.), and I would do it. I would make an effort to keep the house clean and usually spent half a day on the weekend doing a more detailed cleaning. And then one Friday afternoon, Sir decided that we should go shopping that night instead of the next morning. He went upstairs for a minute, and called me up to join him. He had laid out one of my skirts and a top on the bed, along with a pair of heels. He told me to go in the bathroom and freshen up, then come out and change into the outfit he had laid out. I did as he asked, feeling a jolt in my stomach at the sudden return of Sir. The excited kind of jolt. I came out of the bathroom and pulled off my shirt and pants, grabbing the skirt. Sir slapped my hand lightly. "I said you wear what is on the bed." I didn't get it. "Do you see underwear on the bed?"

No. No, I did not. So I didn't get to wear underwear. I had to walk around in a very flowy (albeit long) skirt, with NO UNDERWEAR all night. And it was awesome. I had missed this. When we had paid and were walking back to the car, I helped put the stuff in the trunk of our car and was about to push the cart back when Sir took the cart from me. "Stay right there," he said softly. "Feet together." I stood at the end of the car, feet together, as he pushed the cart back and walked to open my door. I remained where I was until he motioned me to get into the car. "Good girl."

On the ride home, he ordered me to flash him my lady bits, which I did. He pulled off into a secluded subdivision and drove slowly through the darkness as he told me to suck him. I had never attempted a car BJ before, but I did it. It's very adrenaline-inducing and I loved it.

Unfortunately, since that weekend of fun, we both caught a cold and some other upheavals. Nothing serious, but it cost us sleep and recuperation time from our colds. On the plus side, I've gone off the birth control pill and I think my sex drive is making up for lost time. I downloaded a period tracker/fertility tracker app for my phone to keep track of things (since we are hoping to have a baby at some point soon), and we have had sex five days in a row. We've been working the D/s thing back into things on a more conscious level, and the little squabbles and annoyances we had been having with the stress of the job changes and work hours have gone away (for the most part). We are happier. Happier with each other, less stressed, more apt to spend time actively with each other, not just watching TV or doing different things on the computer/phones.

Sir calls me P in his texts and notes. P for Possession, P for Princess. I need a better name for him. I feel like Sir is my default, the first title I ever heard in the D/s world. I want something that fits him perfectly, but that I can say with a straight face. I've thought of and dismissed several options. I'll find one eventually...in the meantime, Sir works fine.

Sir has informed me that he would like me to start preparing for dinner--I slacked off on cooking during our little dry spell too. I've gained about ten pounds since March and that is mostly due to eating garbage and not making ANY effort to eat healthy or get off my butt. I think getting off the pill is helping with my motivation issues as well, because Sir and I went for a long walk yesterday and then I walked on the treadmill this morning.

Here's to a fresh start and keeping things honest. Sometimes we will all slip up and slack off. The important thing is to get back up and kick some ass. Or have your ass spanked, if you like that sort of thing.

Always His,

His Lady Aurora

Le Weekend

So, yesterday was panty-free Friday.

And I liked it.

Sir had told me Wednesday that I was not allowed to wear underwear on Friday and that I also had to wear my ben wa ball all day. So Friday morning came along, I did my usual thing and got ready for work. After showering, I pulled on a pair of boxers and threw on an old T shirt, remembering that I wasn't allowed to wear underwear. I dried my hair, did my makeup, and laid out my outfit--a skirt, as per Sir's directions, a top, and a pair of heels, also per Sir's directions.

I put my ball in, then pulled up the skirt and got dressed. It felt so strange to not wear underwear. That was pretty much every other thought in my head all day.

Sir made dinner when I got home, which was a very nice surprise. He grilled steaks, and we had a new red wine that was delicious. He made me show him right when I got home that I wasn't wearing underwear, and said "good girl" in that voice that makes me melt.

After dinner, we finished the bottle of wine between the two of us and had some rampant sexy time. Today, we were watching TV and he all of a sudden pulled up a listing on the tablet of an anal hook for me. He also wants to get me another play collar that is just a collar and D rings so we can attach whatever we want to it.

I really must bring my submissive side back out on display. She doesn't like to hide. :)  Sir has also said that I don't seem as "subby" as I used to be, so in light of that, I am going to make a list of 5 rituals that I am going to start doing to set myself back in that role.

1. Setting up Sir's coffee each evening before bed.
2. Ask him for instructions each evening before bed, preferably while kneeling beside his chair.
3. Complete my own bedtime preparations (brush out hair, skin creams, etc.)
4. If I get a new collar, kneel in front of Sir each day upon getting home so that he can put it on me.
5. Wait for him to tell me that I can start eating when we eat together.

And the weekend is only half over...what shenanigans will Sunday bring?

Always His,

His Lady Aurora

Back in Blogland

I came home from work today (Sir had the day off) and found a list of instructions for the next two weekdays. I read each item, feeling very happy that Sir had taken an interest in D/s again, since he has been so GRRRRR lately...until I got to Friday. I am to wear a skirt to work...I am to wear my ben wa ball...and I am not allowed to wear underwear.

I'm not allowed to wear underwear. To work.

My submissive side is loving this, but my vanilla side is freaking out. I don't think I have ever not worn underwear in public. Ever.

Is it bad that I am super excited?

I don't care. I'm excited. Sir is back. Now I have to come back and put the s in the D/s. I've been slacking because he's been in such a crappy mood all the time...and that has put ME in a crappy mood.

Always His,

HLA

Saturday Night Fun

Sir woke me up with sex this morning, followed by an order to wear my ben wa balls, followed by a a few hours out doing whatever, followed by coming home to more sex. I was told to wear something more "appropriate" for a night of sexy time, so I put on one of my fancy nightgowns...and no underwear. Sir made me wear my collar for a few hours and tried putting the nipple clamps on my lady bits...which was disturbingly nice. I don't like the pinching feeling I got when he pulled them off, rather than unclamping them, but it was nice. I'm not going to lie.

This evening's activities include a bottle of wine and a movie...and probably some back door fun, if Sir gets his way and things cooperate.

I'm looking forward to it.

Always his,

HLA

Submissive Sunday

We went to see Sir's parents for the day yesterday...Sir ordered me to wear my hair down and I had to ask him for everything. We went to an outdoor festival and I had to ask if I could have wine, something to eat, etc. We played it off like I had left my purse at the house and had forgotten my money...but Sir and I knew better. Haha.

We came back this morning, and Sir is taking a nap while I take care of the house. I have to make some food to bring to my parents' house tonight, do the laundry, and generally clean things up. We weren't expecting to go anywhere yesterday, so the house is not as kept up as it should be. With Sir taking a nap, I've got nothing to do but clean up. And watch TV. But mostly clean up.

I've got a lot to do before I wake Sir up...


Always His,

HLA

Friday

Sir is very down about his job search. He has had several interviews that he says went very well, but he hasn't heard back about them. He is very depressed, and I am kind of dreading his reaction if he doesn't get a call back about this round of interviews. He doesn't want to travel for his current job, and is very upset that he might have to if he doesn't have another job lined up. It makes me sad that I can't help him more than I am. I helped him redo his resume, I have helped with cover letters, we have practiced interviews, I have boosted his ego as much as I can (he has a tendency to think the worst sometimes), but nothing has come of it.

In slightly cheerier news, I have made small, baby steps toward being more active and more healthy. I have walked on the treadmill three times this week, and done arm workouts while I walk. I have brought my lunch every day this week, instead of "forgetting" and running down to the deli on lunch. This is both cheaper (bonus) and healthier. Sir and I also went on a walk earlier in the week, since it was rather nice out.

He wanted to go out tonight, but since we are going out tomorrow with family, he decided we would stay in. I have a great dinner planned tonight-nothing fancy, but something he really likes. He has been really NOT in the mood for sexy time over the past...month...or two...and I am hoping to break that cycle as well. Dinner tonight, maybe we can watch one of the movies we got recently, and I am definitely breaking into the wine stash.

Operation Seduction of Sir has begun. Operation Cheer Sir Up is also in motion. Wish me luck.

Always His,

HLA

Making Routines

Since Sir's work hours have changed, my morning hours have also changed. I don't get to make him breakfast anymore, since he is long gone by the time I get out of bed. Like I mentioned in earlier posts, I haven't been following my (or Sir's) list of morning chores because of this, and also in part because I am lacking in motivation in the mornings.

So yesterday, I had some free time and decided to make some lists. I haven't done this in a while. I made a list of things I want to get done this weekend, a list of things I SHOULD get done this weekend, and a workout/health plan to get ready for October--since my GYN confirmed that I am not knocked up. In my secret Pinterest habit, I have been reading up on different aspects of having a baby and I think I am going to try to go natural. I also realized that in order to have the best chance of success at that, I am going to have to FINALLY get off my ass and get in shape.

So my healthy/baby plan includes a goal of 25 pounds of weight loss between June 1 and October 1. This is roughly one pound per week, plus a little extra. I made a workout plan of cardio, plus arm/leg exercises, plus one day of yoga/meditation (which I am really hoping will help with my headaches). The weekends are free days. Once our snack food stash (which is not very large to begin with) is gone, I will not be replenishing it. I will be buying more fruits and veggies for snacks. I am going to start weaning myself off of coffee, which I think may be behind my migraines. I will start with alternating coffee and tea, and will be drinking more water when at home. I drink plenty at work, but I notice that I never drink as much on the weekends or once I get home.

On to the kink!

Sir found an old pair of Easter bunny ears this morning while cleaning up this morning and handed them to me. I asked him why he was handing me bunny ears, and he said that if I didn't start doing more around the house, he was going to get me a pink leotard or something and glue a poofball tail to my ass and make me wear the ears around while I cleaned. His own personal Playboy bunny.

He also told me that he wants to bang me in the ass soon. He's been holding back because I haven't been feeling well and he has been stressed as hell, but I am thinking he is going to try it sometime this weekend. Can't say I'm not looking forward to it.

Always his,

HLA

A day together

Sir and I both have today off...this has not happened in months (excluding the weekends). He is following up on the job search and I have a lady doctor appointment. I'm sure they are going to make me pee in a cup, since I haven't gotten my period this month. I'm almost positive that it is because I went off the Pill for a month and then went right back on it. That can't be good for your hormones. The good news is that my insurance will pay for it, and I won't have to have that tiny voice in my head saying not to drink on the VERY SLIM chance that I AM knocked up.

In an effort to keep my baby fever to myself, I made a private Pinterest account so that I can ogle baby stuff and not constantly talk to Sir about it. It isn't that he doesn't want to have a baby, but since we are waiting until this fall to start trying, I don't want him to get burnt out on baby mania. Plus, I want to know as much as possible about what I will be (trying) to get into.

In other news, Sir's job totally sucks giant dick. I cannot wait until he gets a different one. *crosses fingers*

The bad news about my doctor's appointment is that we couldn't have sexy time this morning. I told Sir that I will make it up to him when we both get home this afternoon.

I think that having the babymaking start date is going to help me get my ass in gear to lose some weight and generally be healthier. I am a smidge OCD, so since a new month started on the first day of the week (Sunday), it seemed like the perfect day to start seriously working on it. On Sunday, Sir and I did yard work for about six hours, which definitely counts as a workout. Monday-I was so sore and sunburned that I took a rest day. Tuesday-I went on walks during my break at work. Today-I am going to either do a workout video or walk on the treadmill for a while. Sir and I can watch something on the DVR and multitask. :)

I was supposed to start working out in the mornings, but since Sir is gone so early, I don't want to get out of bed early enough, since he isn't here. I do have a family function in July that I wouldn't mind looking a little thinner for.

I finally got back on schedule with taking my thyroid meds, and I'm wondering if that has something to do with my slight uptick in motivation. If anyone reading is hypothyroid, for purposes of comparison, I take 125 mcg of Synthroid each day.

Chores and other fantastic things await me. Happy Wednesday, everyone!

Always his,

HLA

Another break...

.....and I'm back.

I finally caught up on my blog reading list, and I have missed it more than I realized. There has been some upheaval in our house over the last few weeks, and I think maybe that is why we have slowed the D/s (and why I haven't been blogging).

Sir's job situation is in the shitter right now. He is throwing out applications left and right, but isn't hearing anything back. He will be going out of town--overnight--in a few months (provided he doesn't get something else), and neither of us is happy about that. We haven't been apart overnight since we got married. The really crappy thing is that this isn't even part of his job, but the person who is supposed to do it is sick and won't be able to, and since Sir has to have a job, he can't just quit.

The only bad thing about my job is the traffic I have to drive in on my way home. I have tried every route that I can think of and the shortest route is still too long. It wouldn't be so bad if Sir didn't have to get up so early, but with his job situation now, he is getting up even earlier than he used to...so I feel like I need to have dinner ready the moment I come through the door so that we aren't eating and then going directly up to bed.

I can't remember if I mentioned it in the last post, but I went back on my birth control in response to Sir's job situation. We decided I will go off of it for good in October, because we aren't going to let his job dictate our lives, but I think going off (for the first time in 10 years) and then going right back on again messed up my hormones or something because we never seem to want to play at the same time anymore.

The only bright spot in all of this is that I have been so preoccupied with other things that I have slacked off on housework--so Sir made me a weekly schedule of things I have to get done around the house. Since I am not getting up with him anymore (because it is far too early), he has set a schedule for my mornings so that the house stays relatively intact throughout the week.

Besides that, nothing much to report. I'll try to update more, because I enjoy having a venting space, but with everything else going on right now, I'm not sure that I will have time.

April Firsts

Keeping it short and sweet today. Well, maybe not so sweet.

Sir left for work this morning and as he was giving me a hug and kiss goodbye, his hand snaked around my arm. Definitely some boob groping.

In public. Where any of our neighbors could have seen.



It was awesome.

Lazy Weekends

Sir and I have had a very lazy weekend thus far. He has been very lax in the rules, since I was indisposed ealier this week and am still coming off of being sick. We worked on the laundry, which wasn't nearly as bad as it has been. He offered to fold it all, so that's done. I need to put it all away sometime today, but as he is still sleeping, that will have to wait.

My first for today: First all day gaming session with Sir

We spent the majority of the day yesterday playing games. And not sexy games. Computer/video games. We have never had a gaming session together before, and it was kind of fun. We put on some fun music, Sir got his chair moved to optimal position in front of the TV, and I got myself set up in front of the computer. We made some coffee and played games, talking occasionally...until it was time to meet my parents for dinner. Hours later. It was so much fun.

We also started yesterday off with a good banging session. Sir fingered me until I came, then he pounded me until he came. I love when he just takes me for his own enjoyment. I thoroughly enjoy being used like that, and the rougher, the better.

This morning, I think I am going to head out and get the groceries picked up while he is still sleeping. I caved and went to bed around 11 last night, but I think he came much later. Like 2am. So he won't be up for a while, hopefully.

Sir says today we are going for a walk, since it is supposed to be nice out and we spent the entire day yesterday on our asses. I really need to get better about working out in the mornings and I also need to revamp my chores schedule. Sir saw how much extra work I was doing this week as part of my new contract and offered to wash and fold the laundry on his day off, as long as I put it away the next day...which was very nice of him. He also wants me to start wearing skirts to work more often, since its getting nicer.

Today is the first day in almost 8 years that I will not be taking my scheduled birth control. It feels so strange. Like I am forgetting something. Sir and I are not actively planning to get me pregnant, but we are not trying NOT to either. Que sera, sera. I do have an app that will let me track my periods, since I haven't had to do that in almost a decade. It puts in your period and the duration and then lets you know when you ovulate. Good info to know, I guess.

Overall, I would say that this week has been a huge success in terms of my service. The house has been cleaner, Sir has been happier, and the weekend was able to be squandered however we saw fit. Plus I got to wear my collar, which I love. Someone commented on it at dinner last night and it was all I could do not to blush and grin.

Effing Friday!

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April Firsts-Sexy Time

This month, I am going to share my FIRSTS with you. Feel free to play along and to give suggestions for my next entries. I couldn't think of anything to write and I couldn't find any good prompts--so I made one up. Enjoy. They may or may not be related to D/s. But I couldn't resist for this first FIRST. :)

First time having sex:

Sir is my one and only sexual partner. I feel like I am in the minority with this one--marrying the first person you sleep with. Sir and I have known each other for years though, and we eventually decided that not having sex was doing more harm than good to our relationship. We were engaged. Sir was not a virgin, but I was. After months of talking about it, and weeks of seriously considering it, the circumstances fell into place for us and we took full advantage of it. A freak snow storm meant that we had to leave to go back to university a day earlier than planned. A day earlier than the dorms opened. A night where we would have to stay SOMEWHERE.

A hotel. By ourselves.

Granted, we had been living on campus in same building for a year, but we both had roommates. Getting walked in on was not how I wanted my first time to be.

So we drove back together, neither of us really talking about it, but feeling that we were finally going to do it. Sir stopped in town to do some last-minute shopping, and I had the feeling that we were finally going to do it. I bought a pretty teddy that split down the middle and a thong, and when I came back (different stores in one area), Sir had gotten some champagne, some dessert, and a box of condoms. He was the one who finally brought it up, showing me the box and saying that we didn't have to unless I wanted to.

I wanted to.

We went out to a nice dinner at our favorite local place, put the car in the parking garage to keep the snow off of it, and went back to the hotel to ride out the storm.

We opened the champagne, had a little dessert, and then started making out. Sir didn't know that I had bought the teddy, so when it became painfully obvious that we were going to do it, I excused myself to the bathroom to freshen up and change.

I came out to find that Sir had put on some light music, turned the lights off, and opened the curtains, revealing the start of a blizzard outside. He turned, saw me, and smiled.

The rest of the night is a happy blur. I remember his moan when he entered me the first time. I remember his gasps of passion and my own voice mixing with his. I remember that he broke one of the condoms because he was thrusting so hard into me. I was on birth control, so we didn't get too worried about it. I remember falling asleep next to him. And being woken up for rounds two, three, and four. And I remember that when he finally got his own room, I slept next to him for the rest of the year.

My challenge to anyone who made it this far: tell me about YOUR first time.

Always his,

HLA

Scheduling and Whining

I have made a schedule for keeping up with the house, and it seems to be working pretty well. In addition to the evening wipe-down of the kitchen (which has helped immensely), I broke the house up into bits so I can hit one section per day. Monday is the kitchen, Tuesday is the bedroom and vacuuming, Wednesday is the bathrooms, Thursday is the light-colored laundry and the living room, Friday is the dark colored laundry and making the menu/shopping list, and Saturday is vacuuming, grocery shopping, and anything else that needs to get done. My deadline is noon so that I can spend some quality time with Sir.

My coughing is FINALLY coming to an end. I haven't had any cough syrup since Sunday, and I don't sound like a frog anymore.

Sir has noticed an improvement in the housekeeping, which makes me happy. He's been so stressed and bitchy about his job--and has been like this for MONTHS--but it is nice to get recognition for my extra effort. I figure if the house is cleaner, he will have less excuse for not putting in more job applications.

Its very hard for me to keep my mouth shut about his job situation. I think he is being lazy and doesn't want to spend the time filling out the damn applications after a day of work. Which I get. But then he bitches about how much he dislikes his job and the stupid things that he has to deal with all day--and it makes me stressed out. He's upset, I'm upset that he's upset, and then I'm pissed because if he would just PUT IN SOME APPS we would both feel like he is at least making an effort.

I think I might go make something good for dessert. That will help, right?

Always his,
HLA

Long Weekend

This is a long weekend for Sir and I, and we have been taking full advantage of that. Yesterday, I spent the morning cleaning up the house, which looks much better. When Sir got home, we went errand-running and then came home for what I thought was the rest of the day. "Put your shoes back on, we aren't done."

We went to the mall, and I couldn't figure out why we were there.

Sir is buying me a collar for our weekends. :) 

According to our new contract, which I just uploaded, I am to wear a specific necklace from Friday until Sunday. I figured we would just pick one that I just don't wear that often, but he wants to buy me one. It was very sweet.

Unfortunately, with me being kind of a picky pain in the ass, we didn't find one at the mall. We are going to try another store today, since we will be going out for date day.

Also, tomorrow is my last birth control pill. I'm super excited and super nervous.

Date day awaits!

Always his,

HLA

Our Contract

Following is a list of Possession’s promises, based on the previous contract and discussion with Sir.

 

General Guidelines

1.       I promise to submit to the will of Sir. I will accept His authority over me and will do my best to obey His commands. I will work hard to be obedient and to serve Him in every way.

2.       I will remember that I am a direct reflection of Sir and that, as such, I must behave and conduct myself in a manner that reflects positively on Him.

3.       My service and submission are a gift that I willingly choose to bestow upon Sir. I must always remember that He has authority over me and that my duties are to obey, serve, and please Him.

4.       Sir will not accept any shirking of responsibility or tolerate unfounded excuses. Any failures will be dealt with on a case-by-case basis, to include assignation of punishments.

5.       When Sir and I are apart, I will strive to follow and obey all guidelines and expectations. I will report any misdeeds upon being reunited with Sir, and will accept any correction he gives.

 

Communication

1.       I will answer Sir in a respectful, pleasant tone at all times. I will not use bad language (sexual use excluded), especially the F word. I will not be short, rude, or demeaning to Sir.

2.       I will inform Sir immediately if I am ill, in a bad mood, upset with Him, or generally “not in the mood.” Such information is not a blanket cancellation, but rather information that Sir will use to possibly alter our plans. Final decisions are at his discretion.

3.       I will voice my opinion calmly and politely, knowing that Sir has ultimate authority. I am allowed to refuse only under dire circumstances.

4.       Requests, questions, and answers will be phrased in a submissive manner. “What would you like for dinner, Sir?” “May I go to bed now, Sir?” “Yes, Sir.”

5.       If I need to have an IMPORTANT DISCUSSION with Sir, I may temporarily revert to “vanilla mode,” understanding that Sir still has final authority. I may speak freely.

 

Clothing, Hygiene, and Health

1.       My clothing should reflect Sir’s high standards of taste. I may wear “gym clothes” when actively doing a workout.

2.       I will keep myself clean and ready for Sir’s use at all times. I will keep myself trimmed and/or shaved per Sir’s specifications.

3.       I will wear my hair down as much as possible at Sir’s request. I will not leave my hair pinned up overnight. I will consult with Sir prior to any hair cutting, as he prefers my hair to be long.

4.       I will take my thyroid medicine daily, as prescribed. I will take my vitamins daily, preferably with dinner. I will not mindlessly snack between meals, as my health is very important to Sir. I will set myself a daily workout plan and will keep track of each workout for Sir’s perusal.

5.       Treats are to be given at Sir’s discretion. This includes, but is not limited to, sweets, dessert, alcohol, and unhealthy foods (such as pizza). I may only indulge with Sir’s permission.

 

 

 

Domestic Housewifery

1.       It is my responsibility to create a weekly menu for Sir’s approval. I will endeavor to plan healthy meals and treats. I will keep the kitchen clean and organized.

2.       I may complete my chores as time allows during the week, with the expectation that they are all completed by noon on Saturdays, to allow full enjoyment of my weekends with Sir. See CHORES.

3.       Sir’s requests take immediate priority over my actions. I must obey quickly and efficiently.

4.       I will prepare dinner each night (unless otherwise instructed), taking care to keep the damage to a minimum.

5.       Upon leaving or returning to Sir, I will give Him a kiss and await further instruction. If Sir has no immediate need of me, he will inform me and I am free to complete whatever I need to do.

 

Chores/Service

1.       It is my intention that Sir should not have to complete any domestic work unless he chooses to. This means that the house should be maintained in decent order, so that there will be no panic in the event of unannounced visitors and so that he may enjoy his days off.

2.       On a daily basis: random items will be picked up, dishes will be placed in either the sink or dishwasher, and cleaned as necessary. Countertops will be wiped down each evening. Sir’s coffee will be readied before we go to bed. The bathrooms will be kept free of clothing and toiletries will be put away, and the cat’s room will be taken care of. Sir may always request further upkeep. On a weekly basis: laundry will be done and put away, carpets will be vacuumed (twice), grocery shopping will be done, and general upkeep of the house will be done.

3.       Each morning, I should leave the house in as good of condition as possible so that Sir does not come to home to a mess.  After dinner, I should focus on keeping the kitchen in good condition.

4.       I will put Sir’s needs and desires above my own and will strive to obey quickly. I will learn and remember his preferences, endeavoring always to please Him. I will obey without question or needless delay.

5.       Should Sir ask for anything to be brought to him, I will get the item and then present it to him, placing it wherever he directs. I will then ask if he needs anything else.

 

Routines

1.       I will prepare Sir’s coffee each night before bed. I will get up with Sir and make breakfast, then complete my daily workout after he leaves for work. On his weekday off, I will do yoga or something else quiet to build elasticity.

2.       Upon my arrival home from work (providing Sir is home as well), I will put my purse etc. away neatly and greet Sir. I will await further instructions, and change out of my work clothes as quickly as possible.

3.       Before I start dinner, I should ask Sir if he needs anything. I should set the table at some point during dinner prep. I will attempt to give Sir at least five minutes of warning before bringing the plates to the table. Following the meal, I will remove the dishes and put away any leftovers, as well as pre-treat any large messes.

4.       I will clear the table when Sir has finished eating. I will get Him seconds of anything he wants. I will request seconds of anything I want, clarifying if I am still hungry or if this is a treat.

5.       I will ready myself for bed in the following manner: wash face, floss, brush teeth, use mouthwash, brush out hair (if it was up during the day), and ask Sir if I may wear pajamas. By default, I must sleep naked.

 

Sexual Usage

1.       I am Sir’s plaything. I should be ready at all times for his immediate use. If I do not wish to play, I should inform Him as soon as possible. I will not be embarrassed of my body or the verbal naming of its parts.

2.       My mouth, pussy, and ass are property of Sir and he may do whatever he wishes with them. Their only purpose is his pleasure.

3.       I may not masturbate without permission. I may not orgasm without permission.

4.       Sir and I will keep each other informed regarding our general levels of sexual excitement. This will assist in pleasurable encounters for both of us.

5.       I should remember that any orgasm I achieve is due to Sir’s generosity and should thank Him.  

 

Leisure Time

1.       After my chores and responsibilities are completed, I may do whatever activity I wish, while making sure Sir’s needs are met.

2.       Electronic devices (primarily my cell phone and computers) may only be used with Sir’s permission.

3.       I will ask for permission before scheduling activities with or without Sir. I will seek His approval prior to committing to any events.

4.       Sir would like me to enjoy myself on my days off. This means adequate planning so that I am not stuck doing chores during this time.

5.       I should keep Sir informed about my activities so that he is not inconvenienced.

 

Special Expectations for Weekends:

 

FRIDAY

o   Upon rising, Possession will immediately use personal weights. These will be used throughout the day as a reminder of who Possession belongs to and what her purpose is for Sir.

o   Possession may wear jeans to work but should change into something more flattering upon her arrival home. Possession is forbidden to wear panties without permission for the entirety of the weekend, beginning with her arrival home on Fridays. This includes time spent away from the house.

o   Sir and Possession will designate a particular necklace to serve as a weekend collar. This will be worn in place of any other necklace as a physical and visual reminder that Possession is Sir’s property.

SATURDAY

o   Possession is required to use SBP for one hour. This will be completed before noon. She will request permission from Sir to do this.

SUNDAY

o   Possession is required to use SBP for one hour. This will be completed before noon. She will request permission from Sir to do this.

 

*****Exceptions will be made if social obligations conflict with the weekend expectations. Other exceptions will be made due to health or “lady” issues.

o   Possession is permitted and encouraged to offer suggestions to increase the enjoyment of both Possession and Sir.

o   Possession’s purpose is to please Sir. She is Sir’s Slut and Sex Toy. She is here only to please Sir. She is to make every part of herself available for Sir’s pleasure at all times.

o   If illness occurs that makes any part of Possession unavailable to Sir, Possession is to notify Sir immediately!

o   Possession will also acquiesce to any of Sir’s requests without question or hesitation, as it is not her place to question Sir or his desires for her.

o   Possession will only be permitted to use Fuck as a request of Sir.

o   Possession is required to ask Sir for permission before initiating any play.

o   Possession is forbidden to cum without Sir’s permission. She will request permission from Sir to do so. “Sir can I please/Sir please allow me to…” Failure to properly address Sir will be given no acknowledgement.

o   Possession will thank Sir for allowing her to cum.

o   Possession is also forbidden to please or touch herself without Sir present.

o   Failure to adhere to these instructions and guidelines will result in punishment for Possession.

Back to normal...

I woke up yesterday after FINALLY sleeping most of the night without coughing and waking myself up. Sir let me sleep in (he's so thoughtful) and when I finally crawled out of bed, I was hit by the sudden realization that our house is kind of an absolute disaster. The kitchen was in disarray-dishes stacked on the countertops, the dishwasher clean but not emptied, dirty pans on the stove. The dining room has papers all over, books that need to go back to the library. The living room has magazines, coffee cups, blankets, and bits of the newspapers scattered about.

I told Sir that I was very sorry the house had gotten to this point and I would handle it all tomorrow (so today). He replied that I must be feeling better to be this upset about it.

I got home last night to find that he had cleaned up the kitchen for me (Thank God, I hate cleaning up the kitchen for some reason), and had gathered up most of his mess from the rest of the house. He had some running around to do this afternoon, so I am going to try and get as much of the rest of the cleaning done before he gets home.

Tomorrow, we are having a date day, and I bought a fancy new razor for my lady bits. The old one kicked off last week and I have been meaning to get a new one. Its hard to go shopping when you are coughing up a lung every two minutes.

We are printing and signing the new contract today (hopefully), so I will be putting that up tomorrow.

Off to clean up this messy, messy house!

Always his,

HLA

Spring Cleaning...and sanitizing...

I think I am FINALLY on the upturn from this case of the plague I am currently harboring. After single nosed-ly finishing off every bottle of Nyquil, every box of tissues, every cough drop, and every nasal fixing pill we had, I am feeling semi-human again. I caved and went to the doctor yesterday for some serious cough meds, which I got, and picked up some tissues and some more decongestant. Plague--I'm coming for you.

We were supposed to go out to see Sir's parents this afternoon, but since I still sound terrible and Sir's grandparents were coming out too, we decided I should stay home and not get anyone else sick on the off chance that I am still contagious. Plus, feeling like absolute shit all week has not done much for keeping up with my contract. The house is a disaster. Sir cleaned a lot of it up yesterday while I napped/coughed myself into oblivion, which was so very nice of him. Plus, I think it was driving him insane. I wasn't hungry a few nights ago and he decided to make himself some eggs for dinner--then proceeded to ask me how to make them. And he used to cook! For a job! I have taken over certain things so much in terms of domestic life that he doesn't remember how to do them. I started laughing and then started coughing, then couldn't stop. Fantastic.

Today is Day 1 of 7. This Saturday marks the end of my birth control pills. Whoot.

Sir left me a list of things to get done while he is out today. They include taking a nap, folding laundry, and making a menu for this week. And watching my recorded crap on the TV. I think I can handle it. I can't wait until I am feeling better and can get started on my contract. I think we are going to go over it later, once he gets back, and then we can print and sign it. I'm so excited.

My chores await. So much TV, so little time.

Always his,

HLA

At least today is Friday...

Started off this morning with an aching back from having to essentially sleep sitting up in the spare room so my coughing doesn't wake up Sir. No voice. Coughing. Ugh.

Was able to drag myself downstairs after about 20 minutes, and got myself some coffee after that. The idea of eating breakfast sounded good, but I made eggs and they were suddenly absolutely nauseating. Frozen toaster strudel it is! And coffee. Breakfast of champions.

The only bright point in today is that today is Friday, and I can sleep this whole thing off over the weekend. Sir and I are getting takeout, so I don't needlessly contaminate the kitchen (not that I am contagious, but I mostly just don't feel like cooking), and I'm hoping this evening's schedule goes like this: come home, order and pick up dinner, watch an episode of something on TV, and be in bed by like 7. Hopefully to stay there until I feel better.

In other news, Sir started reading over my new contract. His first comment was "this sounds like a lot of work for you." Aww. Its really not, I told him. I do most of the things on there now, and I've been doing a test run (until I caught the plague). I noticed, he said.

Once we get a chance to properly go over it, print it, and sign it, I will update that section of the blog. It's much more detailed than our old one, which was set up specifically for my sometimes-long weekends.

I'm kind of impressed by the curative powers of coffee. I could barely speak this morning, my voice was so hoarse, and now I can mostly speak normally. Hopefully a day of answering my phone and talking to people doesn't trash it. As long as I lose my entirely after I walk out the doors, I'm good.

Get excited people. Let the countdown to the weekend begin!

Always His,
HLA

Sick Day

After struggling with what I thought was the super lame version of the office bug for a while, I woke up this morning with the mega-evil version. No voice. Coughing. Stuffed up. The works.

I called my boss to tell her I was sick, and I sounded so bad that I had to repeat myself about three times until she knew who I was and then twice to explain that I was sick. It was so much nicer calling in here than it was at Helljob. I only called in about three times over the many years I was there, and each time, they were hostile and uncaring. I always had nasal problems when I called in too, so it wasn't like I sounded fine. I always sounded like death, and they would just be like, oh. Great. Ok, bye. This time, I got a "oh no, sweetie, you sound terrible. I hope you feel better." It was nice.

So I chugged some Nyquil and went back to bed for a few hours. I'm currently sifting through my stuff on the TV and deciding whether to attempt to clean the house up or to rest. Luckily, I did a major clean up over the weekend, so it isn't too bad. Sir asked me to finish the laundry he started, so I might just finish that and get it all folded and put away.

Over the weekend, we also talked about revising my contract. He wrote it when I got my occasional long weekends and since I changed my hours, that won't really happen anymore. So I started to revise it, and got it almost done. It is just waiting his approval right now.

I went through and outlined expectations he has of me during the week, and added special ones for the weekend. We still need to go through it and talk about it all, but overall, I am pleased with it.

And I was so excited this morning to have my very first comment! Thank you, hispreciouspet!

And I added an email subscription on the right side of the blog. Enjoy!

Always His,

His Lady Aurora

TGIF

I'm so glad its Friday.

I'm still getting over whatever the crap is wrong with me--I plan on coming home, having dinner with Sir (delicious leftovers from last night, yay!), and then going to bed. Sir pretty much said the same thing over breakfast. I'm not feeling as sick as I have been, but I am just absolutely exhausted. Earlier this week, I came home from work and then pretty much slept for like 12 hours. And I could have kept going, too.

Since it is finally getting nice here, Sir wants to go to the park tomorrow and go for a walk. It will be nice to be outside without freezing my ass off. Plus, since I was unable to do my morning treadmilling this week, I can make up for it a little. Luckily, being sick pretty much killed my appetite, so I probably broke even, calorie-wise. Not a good idea for the long term, but it seems like every time I start a workout plan or something, I get sick or our schedule is torn up and that is the end of that. I planned my workouts to be during the week only, so I can get up with Sir and then have time to run and still have time to shower before work. Weekends are for us.

PS: I'm really hoping to get some sexy time with Sir this weekend. Being sick killed the possibility of mid-week romping, but I think after I get some sleep, I will be back to normal. And weekends have become unofficial Dom/sub time, since we are actually around each other for more than a few hours. And I'm not immediately making and serving dinner during half of that time.

Always his,

His Lady Aurora

Out of My (online) Shell

I fully realize that this blog is not a substitute for actual human contact, but over the past week or so I have begun to actually interact with other blogs. Leaving comments, adding to my reading list, etc. I read them all the time, but I never really had the guts to comment, to leave a trail back here, to come out of my online shell.

I have felt this sense of renewal (probably because it is springtime-just don't tell the weather people, they can't seem to get it right, lol) in terms of my submission, and reading about it makes me feel more normal about it. There are tons of other people with similar thoughts and feelings, and it makes me feel more confident in myself, that I am not some deviant weirdo (which is the feeling I get whenever anything BDSM or D/s related is ever brought up in my vanilla life). People here on the blogosphere GET IT because they do it too. Its a nice feeling, especially because I have literally no one but Sir to talk about this with. My family would freak out and my friends don't really need this much detail about my sex life. :) 

So anyway, if you are reading this, thank you. Leave a comment if you want. Apparently, March is Q & A month. Ask me a question if you want. But mostly, if you write a blog, thank you for writing.

Always his,

His Lady Aurora

Sick

So yesterday morning, Sir let me sleep in because I felt very groggy and had a sore throat. Still dragged myself to work, and felt like I had run a marathon all day. Came home, passed out on the couch while Sir made dinner, was unable to eat anything, and went to bed around 5:30 last night. So that's about 12 hours of sleep...and I could totally go back to bed this morning. Alas, work awaits. I told Sir before he left that if I still worked at Helljob, I would be calling in today. But I think its just really bad allergies.

Unfortunately, the weekend was very...stimulating...and I keep having filthy dreams that I can't act on in real life because I don't want to get Sir sick too. Plus I'm tired etc, and Sir told me to rest so I don't drag this out longer than it needs to be.

Anyway. At least I have some excellent leftovers to take for lunch. I realized this morning that I basically didn't eat anything yesterday. I forgot my lunch and then was too tired to walk across the street and get something. But I wasn't hungry...so I guess that's ok. I'm far too much of a glutton to starve myself.

In an attempt to get this out of my head, please enjoy the following description of my dream from two nights ago. I'll have to come back and revisit it once I'm feeling better.

***********wavy memory lines****************

Sir and I walk through a long corridor, vaguely reminsicent of Dracula's castle. It isn't, but its very dark, lit by candles, and the walls are stone. There is a masked ball going on and we proceed down endless hallways and up and down staircases until we are hopelessly lost. Another couple comes down the hall toward us, then stops and begins passionately kissing. The man pulls the woman's gown up and begins to touch her as she moans. Sir apparently decides this looks like fun and does the same to me.

Before I know it, Sir has pulled me into an empty room and we are kissing, touching, moaning against the walls, on the very fancy looking upholstered couch, on the bed, and then the other couple comes through the door. Everything stops...until the other man closes the door. His partner pulls him toward the bed and they continue--eventually having frantic, passionate sex right there in front of us.

Sir and I have been watching, because what else are we going to do, and Sir begins caressing me as we watch. And then he teases me, and I'm getting so wet, and then we are having sex too. Not in any way with the other couple, just right next to them. I can hear her panting and him groaning, and Sir is telling me I am a dirty slut for being so excited...

*******************************

and then my freaking alarm went off and I woke up. DAMN IT.

Hope you enjoyed.

Always his,

HLA

Sorely Used

So last night, after finishing my blog post, I asked Sir if we could move the couch so that we could cuddle and watch the movie. He said yes, so we moved the couch and refilled the wine glasses. After a while, I laid down and put my head in his lap, and he put his arm around me as we watched the movie.

And then my third glass of wine kicked in (we had been sipping for nearly two hours), and I started stroking him and sucking him. He seemed cool with it and was trying not to moan and stuff. Got to keep up that Dominant persona. Can't be melting all over your sub. Ha.

So when I stopped for a moment because my free hand was smushed under his leg, he grabbed my hand and said "I didn't say stop." At some point during the movie (LA Confidential), the cops are roughing up some guys and me, being drunk, began a discussion on why they were getting beat up. That led to a discussion about why they use phone books, and Sir informed me that they don't leave bruises because of the way the force is distributed.

So then I said I didn't get it, didn't believe him, so Sir dug out a phone book and attempted to explain that the force is distributed over the whole surface, etc. And then, since I am a dirty, dirty slut, I wanted him to show me. So he lightly smacked my arm, which was not a good enough test. And then, inevitably, he ended up smacking my ass with the phone book. Hard. And he was right. No bruise today.

So anyway, after our phone book experiment, we went back to the couch and continued our movie. And then I started sucking Sir off, and we ended up 69ing on the living room floor. Sir ran upstairs at one point to get my vibrator because he is obsessed with getting me to squirt, so then he tortured me with that and made me come four times in a row, followed by very rough sex wherein I came another 4 times...didn't squirt though. At some point, he murmured in my ear that I was his dirty whore and he was going to fuck me until I couldn't walk. Mission accomplished. My lady bits are very sore today. Its wonderful.

Happy Sunday.

Always his,
HLA

Lazy weekend

I survived my first week at my new position!!! 

We got Chinese on Friday to celebrate, did pretty much nothing all day today, and I am currently sitting in my PJs, sipping chardonnay, and watching LA Confidential with Sir. He promises that it has boobies and sex in it. The soundtrack isn't half bad either.

I think in a few minutes I'm going to move the couch over so we can cuddle. And stuff. I'm hoping he will maul me, but he's been kind of tired and cranky all day. Maybe I will have to maul him.

Either way, tonight is a nice break from my week of stress and work.

Always his,

His Lady Aurora

Good Girl

Sir discovered (by accident) that I really like it when he tells me "good girl." He asked me to go bring him something from upstairs, and when I returned, item in hand, he smiled and said "good girl." I think he was joking, but he must have seen my face (I smirked, which usually means I like something but am embarrassed to verbalize that fact) and now he says it all the time, whenever I follow directions or do something for him.

On a side note, the prescription for birth control pills that I will be picking up this weekend will be my last. That's right. Holy crap. Holy crap. HOLY CRAP. Excited, nervous, terrified, anxious. Excited.

Today marks the end of my first official week in my new position at work. I have an answering machine. Not that anyone would really ever call me, but its there. I have learned so much this week, and I really only had two days of training because my trainer was out sick for most of the week. I also have a new mantra for the D bags (its a customer service job)--

I don't care what you think of me. I don't think about you at all.  --Coco Chanel.

This is the best possible way (in my book) of dealing with the irrationally angry people who cannot be reasoned with. They want to provoke a reaction, and since I don't really care about things that are not under my control (THEY screwed up, THEY were late, etc), I don't get dragged into their drama. Love this quote.

So excited for the weekend. Lots to do. I'm going to go clothes shopping for the first time in several years (yes, you read that right) to supplement my wardrobe. My mom took me shopping when I first left Helljob, but its kind of embarrassing to wear the same several outfits. Plus I am bad at fashion, since I never really had a need for it during my 4 years at Helljob. I love being able to dress up for work.

Here's to the weekend!

Always his,
HLA

Priorities

I am a person who believes in being organized. I like to plan things out. Excessively. I make lists, then go through the lists and compile other lists based on due date, importance, etc. The bad thing about this is that when things on the list don't get done, they spiral out of contol and snowball into this feeling of uselessness and defeat. I'm tired of it.

I have decided that I am going to stop making excessively detailed lists. They are a recipe for failure. I start my new position tomorrow, and from what I have heard, there are tons of deadlines and paperwork, and more stress. On top of this, I am learning everything from the bottom up. My learning curve is going to be a vertical line this week.

I put too much stress and pressure on myself. I have high expectations, which I view as a good thing, but then when something doesn't meet those expectation or falls through the cracks, I get this sense of worthlessness, like I am somehow lacking as a person. My half of our D/s dynamic revolves around certain things I do (or don't) around the house. Making sure dinner is made. Making sure that dinner is reasonable healthy. Not breaking the bank while shopping for said meals. Keeping the house clean. Keeping up with the laundry, the dishes, my growing piles of books and magazines. On top of a 40 hour a week job with a commute.

I am tired of looking into the mirror and feeling bad about the way I look. I love myself as a person, and I know how shallow this seems. I don't have to be super skinny. Sir would not like that. I just want to look in the mirror and feel ok about the person I see looking back at me. This winter, I have gained about five pounds. It doesn't seem like much, but I think it was the push that sent me over the edge. I am an unhealthy weight for my height. I feel lazy. My skin has started to fight back. I don't want to go out and do anything because I would rather sit on the couch and watch TV than have to stand up and walk around.

My job has no doubt encouraged this. I have also stopped taking my thyroid meds on a regular basis because I have a slightly irrational fear that they are making my hair fall out. The downside of this is that it takes months to see any difference in my hair, but my skin has dried out and I feel like crap all the time.

I am going to start taking better care of myself. I am going to portion out ME TIME every single day when I get home from work (probably after dinner). I am going to eat better. Work out. Walk on that damn treadmill. Stop judging myself so harshly. Relax. Sir always tells me that he is afraid I am going to give myself a stroke with as much as I worry and stress about everything.

Here's to March! And here's to loving yourself and being the best version of yourself that there is!

Always his,

His Lady Aurora