I've always thought that phrase was interesting. At first glance, it means taking something perfect and beautiful and covering it with something even more precious and beautiful. When you think about it though, you are taking something delicate and vibrant and then slathering it with flaw-hiding metal. The lily underneath will inevitably waste away, leaving you with a hollow shell in the appearance of said lily.
Its been so long since I actively read any kind of blog, and longer since I updated. I considered just deleting this one and starting again, but that would just start the problem again. No one wants to discuss the sucky parts of their relationship, or the things that they fail at. I'll just be honest: Sir and I gradually stopped the D/s without really realizing it. His new job (thank God!!!) gives him much better hours, stable start-end work times, and a tenth of the amount of stress as his previous one. Combining that with the adjustments we were still working through with my new-ish (1 year!) job, and things just changed so much, so fast, that we were operating on fumes for months. Its very strange to suddenly have Sir home in the mornings with me, to be able to have breakfast together, to be able to stay out later, to get up later than 3am.
Looking back, I can see that my submission never really went away completely. I make breakfast and coffee each morning for the two of us. Sir would tell me to take X for lunch (leftovers, remind me to take a snack, etc.), and I would do it. I would make an effort to keep the house clean and usually spent half a day on the weekend doing a more detailed cleaning. And then one Friday afternoon, Sir decided that we should go shopping that night instead of the next morning. He went upstairs for a minute, and called me up to join him. He had laid out one of my skirts and a top on the bed, along with a pair of heels. He told me to go in the bathroom and freshen up, then come out and change into the outfit he had laid out. I did as he asked, feeling a jolt in my stomach at the sudden return of Sir. The excited kind of jolt. I came out of the bathroom and pulled off my shirt and pants, grabbing the skirt. Sir slapped my hand lightly. "I said you wear what is on the bed." I didn't get it. "Do you see underwear on the bed?"
No. No, I did not. So I didn't get to wear underwear. I had to walk around in a very flowy (albeit long) skirt, with NO UNDERWEAR all night. And it was awesome. I had missed this. When we had paid and were walking back to the car, I helped put the stuff in the trunk of our car and was about to push the cart back when Sir took the cart from me. "Stay right there," he said softly. "Feet together." I stood at the end of the car, feet together, as he pushed the cart back and walked to open my door. I remained where I was until he motioned me to get into the car. "Good girl."
On the ride home, he ordered me to flash him my lady bits, which I did. He pulled off into a secluded subdivision and drove slowly through the darkness as he told me to suck him. I had never attempted a car BJ before, but I did it. It's very adrenaline-inducing and I loved it.
Unfortunately, since that weekend of fun, we both caught a cold and some other upheavals. Nothing serious, but it cost us sleep and recuperation time from our colds. On the plus side, I've gone off the birth control pill and I think my sex drive is making up for lost time. I downloaded a period tracker/fertility tracker app for my phone to keep track of things (since we are hoping to have a baby at some point soon), and we have had sex five days in a row. We've been working the D/s thing back into things on a more conscious level, and the little squabbles and annoyances we had been having with the stress of the job changes and work hours have gone away (for the most part). We are happier. Happier with each other, less stressed, more apt to spend time actively with each other, not just watching TV or doing different things on the computer/phones.
Sir calls me P in his texts and notes. P for Possession, P for Princess. I need a better name for him. I feel like Sir is my default, the first title I ever heard in the D/s world. I want something that fits him perfectly, but that I can say with a straight face. I've thought of and dismissed several options. I'll find one eventually...in the meantime, Sir works fine.
Sir has informed me that he would like me to start preparing for dinner--I slacked off on cooking during our little dry spell too. I've gained about ten pounds since March and that is mostly due to eating garbage and not making ANY effort to eat healthy or get off my butt. I think getting off the pill is helping with my motivation issues as well, because Sir and I went for a long walk yesterday and then I walked on the treadmill this morning.
Here's to a fresh start and keeping things honest. Sometimes we will all slip up and slack off. The important thing is to get back up and kick some ass. Or have your ass spanked, if you like that sort of thing.
Always His,
His Lady Aurora
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