Vibrator Heaven

I realize that I am probably the last woman on earth to discover this, but vibrator-induced clitoral orgasms are my new drug. Sir decided to use himself in my ass and then press my vibrator against my clitoris. Until I almost died and went to submissive heaven. My legs were numb, my ass muscle was so tight I had a spasm...it was unbelievable. Onto the next few days of kink:

Day 12: Humorous BDSM story.

This isn't really a story, and I can't think of any that I have been involved in, but I find it funny that vanilla people think everyone involved in BDSM is running around 24/7 in spiked dog collars, leather, more leather, and ball gags. If you aren't doing that, you just aren't BDSM. I guess it is also somewhat annoying because I now identify myself somewhat as BDSM, albeit privately, and I don't think anyone in a million years would classify me as BDSM.

Day 13: Appeal/draw of BDSM to me.

I like the idea of giving up control. Of being completely devoted to Sir. Of being used to make Sir, someone I love, very happy. I'm not a very outwardly emotional person, and this lets me show him without saying it how much he means to me. That I would do anything for him. That I trust him unconditionally.

Day 14: Real life vs. fantasy BDSM.

I think lots of things sound good on paper in relation to BDSM. For example, I love the idea of Sir taking me into the bedroom, ordering me on my knees, and making me suck him off. In real life, he hasn't quite gotten comfortable with the idea of ordering me around like that and the taste of semen makes me gag. Quite a bit. But the idea is very hot.

Day 15: Kink/BDSM wish list activity

I would really like to try a flogger. I am actually thinking of making one/buying one but I have to get Sir on the bandwagon first. So being tied up and flogged.

Day 16: Most difficult aspect of BDSM

Giving up control, even when I want to. And also keeping this under wraps. My work life would cease to exist, my family would probably disown me, and I would generally be a pariah if anyone found out about this. I am not ashamed, not at all, but I choose my battles.

Day 17: Misconception about kinky people

We are all crazy, loud, in your face about it. In reality, I think most BDSM people are a little secretive about it. Its your sex life, after all, and people don't generally run around screaming about their vanilla sex, let alone being whipped and stuff.

Day 18: Kinky pet peeves.

I can't really think of any.

Day 19: Ways that kink has improved my life

Since I have had to introduce Sir to this whole idea, it has made me more forthcoming about what I want and what makes me happy in terms of our relationship. And our sex life. It has also made me more relaxed (due to copious amounts of really good sex) and more motivated to take care of myself. Who wants to be around a submissive who hates themself? How can I make Sir happy if I am miserable?

Day 20: Something BDSM I am curious or confused about

I wonder about the hierarchy of sorts between vanilla, bottom, submissive, slave, and animal/little kid dynamics. I listed them in the order of "severity" as I see them. I think its pretty interesting that there are such clear lines between each section and wonder what makes someone want to go further in.

I have been doing really bad at getting up with Sir and making breakfast. I think I need to get my thyroid medicine upped next time I go in. I feel SO tired all the time, and very unmotivated to do much of anything. I'm getting that checked out in a few weeks, so hopefully I will be feeling better in a few months. Stupid thyroid.

Always his,
HLA