After seeing several other blogs doing this, I figured it might be a good way to guide the babbling and help me focus. This blog is a huge step outside my comfort zone, and answering questions feels easier than volunteering the info on my own. Here are the first couple questions from 30 DOK and my answers.
Day 1: In a nutshell, define your kinky self. D/s? What appeals to you?
I consider myself the submissive partner in my marriage. I enjoy making him happy, whether it is by prepping the coffee maker for him the night before so he has fresh coffee in the mornings, by making his lunch (when I get up with him, something I need to work on), by keeping the house cleaned up. The idea of being "controlled" in my daily life is not something I am comfortable with, until I think about the idea that both of us controls the other already. I try to limit my use of a certain F word because he thinks it is beneath me (outside the bedroom, of course). He cleans up the kitchen if I don't get to it (and I often don't), in exchange for me making dinner every night. I think he secretly likes it when he asks me to make his coffee and I immediately get up and get it ready. It is a way for me to show him how much I love him, especially when I behave otherwise. I have kind of a temper.
Day 2: List your kinks.
I like being dominated (convenient, right?) in the bedroom. Spankings are excellent. I think I enjoy pain, so I guess that would be masochism? I am very new to the idea of speaking about sex openly, so this category will probably grow as I learn more about BDSM. I do like vibrators and butt plugs. Can you see me blushing right now? Probably for the best. Just added restraints after answering number 4.
Day 3: How did you discover that you were kinky?
I never knew that there was a word for my particular cup of tea until I read Fifty Shades. Several of my close co-workers were talking about it and one of them offered to lend me her copy. Halfway through the first book, I returned the borrowed copy and bought all three titles. Something sparked in me, blazing through the terrible writing and weak storyline of the books. The idea of serving someone I loved, serving in every way, was very attractive. I am a very selfish person sometimes, and I would like to work on not being so selfish, especially in terms of my relationship with my Sir Charming.
Day 4: Any experiences that foreshadow your kink?
My sexual history is rather short. I have been with exactly one person, and sex was never brought up in my house. I never had The Talk about sex, periods, etc. Unless you count the one that they do in school. Which I don't, because no one is really paying attention anyway. Anytime I had feelings that remotely fell into the sexual category, the general aura of my homelife made me feel like they were something bad, something to feel guilty about. During high school, I finally figured out that these feelings were normal. Once I realized that, I started to notice that I really liked certain things I saw in movies or read about in books. I liked the rough, passionate scenes, liked the idea of the bad boy, liked the idea of being handcuffed. So add restraints to number 2. Check.
Day 5: Your first kinky sexual experience.
I'm going with the first one that Sir Charming and I were both aware was kinky. This was about a month ago. I told you I was new. I came home from work, and was presented with a chilled shot since I had been bitching all day via text about how horrid my day was. After he handed me the shot, he told me to drink it. In a very Sir-like tone. Which made me very interested. I have been dropping hints left and right for months about all this kinky and/or D/s stuff and he seems a little creeped out by it. Maybe its because I'm so interested in it. Anyway, he then ordered me to the bedroom, where he told me to go into the bathroom and undress. I came out, and he was in silk boxers, armed with a necktie. He tied up my wrists and proceeded to...ahem...detain me, for the next 20 minutes. It was glorious.
I'm hoping maybe this blog will let me process this kind of stuff outside of talking about it with Sir Charming quite so much. He is still very vanilla, and I don't want to scare him off. :) That would make me a very sad Lady Aurora.
Ever his,
HLA
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