It has been several weeks now since my last post, and things have certainly changed around here. I stopped pushing the Dom/sub thing, stopped pushing in general. Sir is having a hard time with my job--I think its hard for him to see me so much happier than I was at Helljob when things haven't changed for the better on his end. We fought. Almost every day.
During our last blow-up fight, about two weeks ago (I may have been PMSing), we figured some things out. Sir has gone on two interviews and hasn't heard back from them. He has put in several applications and hasn't heard back from any of them. His job is in sales, and due to many circumstances beyond his control, his sales are terrible. He is actually not as down as others in his company, but the fact remains that we view his job as a sinking ship. Understandably, this causes him immense stress.
My job is a huge step up from Helljob. I get as much vacation time starting out as Sir gets after being at his job for several years. I get paid holidays. I like what I am doing. I get phenomenal insurance, and we added Sir to be covered under my policy. It would be absolutely insane for me to quit. The downside of the job is that it changed my hours drastically. At Helljob, I was getting home early in the afternoon, with enough time to get changed, clean up the house, get things ready/started for dinner, and be waiting eagerly for Sir to come home. I was exhausted and miserable, but Helljob allowed Sir and I to live out a sort of "stay at home" life. My new job was requiring much longer hours, and I have a longer commute now as well. I wasn't getting home until 6:30 some nights, which is very late considering that our day begins rather early.
A couple weeks ago, I changed my work hours to regular Monday-Friday. The work day is shorter, I get home about an hour earlier than I used to. I have more time in the morning to do things around the house.
During our discussions, Sir and I realized that we need a certain amount of D/s because that is just who we are. Sir has certain expectations of me, like keeping the house cleaned up, making dinner, figuring out the menu for the week. My old hours were making these things difficult, especially compared to how things were at Helljob. Sir said that when I got my new job, I got everything and he lost everything. I got a job that made me happy, more money, great benefits, etc. He lost time with me, lost his "stay at home" wife.
From here out, I will be making a concerted effort to renew my submission. Based on our many discussions, here are a few things I will be working on:
1. I will not say the F word, unless I am using it as a request for Sir.
2. I will not be livid about traffic on my commute home.
3. I will use the treadmill each morning before work.
4. I will clean up the house (at least keep it semi-orderly) before I leave in the morning.
5. I will comport myself in a way that is pleasing to Sir.
I think Sir is coming out of his rut. Yesterday, he decided it would be fun to try to make me squirt, since I confessed that it had happened once before when I was playing with my vibrator. After a while, it became clear that it wasn't going to happen, and I was rather irritated because not only could I not squirt, I couldn't seem to finish at all. We had been using only my vibrator, and when I told Sir that I didn't think it was going to happen at all, he decided to just take me. Which he did. Rather violently. It was fantastic, and was the first non-halfhearted sex we had in a few weeks. Today, he had to work and texted me around noon to get my ben wa and put it in until further notice. Later, he called me and told me to go upstairs and tease myself (but NOT to finish). I'm also not allowed to wear underwear for the rest of the day.
I think this is a promising new start.
Always his,
His Lady Aurora
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